Oh I Wept

 

And so did you. Everything about your death was horrible but it was at its worst when you forgot you were dying.  And then you remembered. It was like being crushed over and over again.  One time when the therapets came to the hospice and you started talking about what kind of dog you were going to get when you came home.  And then you remembered. We wept.

Anyway, my dear, here’s another meaningless thank you.

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St Columba’s Hospice Tribute Fund for Linda Hamilton

http://linda.hamilton.muchloved.com/

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7 weeks

The most horrible seven weeks imaginable.  Actually, that’s not true because I was told you were going to die eight weeks before you did.  So, those weeks were even more horrible.

But this is bad.  Each day gets worse as I reach for you only to realise you’re not there.  Anyway, my dear, here’s the latest meaningless thank you.

Dear Mr Hamilton,

Thank you so much for opening a Tribute Fund in memory of your wife, Linda Hamilton. The Fund is a way to celebrate the life of someone you love whilst doing something positive to ensure the care they received will be available for others who need it.

There are so many ways to help your tribute fund grow – some people donate at times of the year that are special to them ,such as birthdays or anniversaries, whilst some may choose to organise a celebratory event in tribute to their loved one. Others may find it easier to arrange to make regular payments. Whichever way you choose to manage your Tribute Fund we aim to make it as special to you as possible and we are here to offer advice and support in any way we can.

We have arranged to have a leaf engraved for your wife and it is now ready to dedicate on one of the ceramic Forget Me Nots in the Tribute Garden. We understand how deeply personal and meaningful these gifts are and if you would like to dedicate the leaf in person please let us know and we will arrange this for you.

Thank you once again for opening your Tribute Fund which will ensure the highest standard of care continues to be available for those who need it at the most challenging of time.

 

With best wishes

Individual Giving Fundraiser
St Columba’s Hospice

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St Columba’s Hospice Tribute Fund for Linda Hamilton

http://linda.hamilton.muchloved.com/

Grace Muir Hamilton

Autumn leaves

Linda died on the 8th August.  Two days after her funeral it was my dead Dads birthday.  Now it’s my dead Mums birthday.  The fun just never starts.

I never forgave my Mum for shunning Linda.  16 years we’d been married when my Mum died and they never met.  Linda was right, it was my Mum who chose that path. How she could do that to her only son I’ll never know.  Linda was and is the girl I love. She was my life.  Yet the woman who gave me life couldn’t get past her ludicrous prejudices.

We had an uneasy truce over the last few years of her life. She was getting older and despite everything I would visit her every month and she knew she could phone me if she was in need.   I know you were widowed at the same I age I was and that life had been cruel, but I was your son. Mum, (pictured below on the left) how could you.

Grace Muir Robinson 1929–2008

BIRTH 25 SEP 1929  122 Bonnington Road, Leith
DEATH 29 MAY 2008  Hotel Burstin, Folkestone

Mumfifties

St Columba’s Hospice Tribute Fund for Linda Hamilton

http://linda.hamilton.muchloved.com/

A puppy

All Linda wanted from life was peace, quiet, less pain and a puppy.  She got none of those.  At least in the hospice she got regular visits from the Therapets provided by the Canine Concern Scotland Trust.  I’ve just written to them as below.

“Please find enclosed a donation from my late wife, Linda Hamilton, who passed away at St. Columba’s Hospice on the 8th August this year.

She had always wanted a dog of her own but due to a botched operation she had been infirm for a number of years.  I actually took my redundancy late last year so I could be at home with her and so we could finally get a dog of our own.  Four weeks later we found out Linda had cancer.

When she was admitted to the hospice the visits of the therapets were an absolute treat for her, even though, because the cancer had spread to the brain, she still wept when she remembered she would never have a dog of her own.

Please pass on my best wishes to the owners who brought Brodie, Flash, Yassie and Harry to see her before she died.”

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St Columba’s Hospice Tribute Fund for Linda Hamilton

http://linda.hamilton.muchloved.com/

 

PS: Lass, I didn’t know you could weep so hard it makes you sick and give you a nosebleed at the same time.  Who knew.

Thanks mean nothing

It’s true, thanks mean nothing.  I just want you back.  And if that can’t happen I just want to be with you.  But you made me promise…

Down below you’ll see the thank you letter from St. Columba’s Hospice for the donation Linda made after she passed.  It highlights one of her best attributes which was also one of her biggest flaws.  She never put herself first.  Even the chaplain in the hospice seems to have picked up on that.

There was always someone else who needed her more.  Be it her Uncle Davie, her ex best friend Margaret, her stepdad or her evil mother.  Regardless of how she was feeling, how infirm or how sick she was, there was always someone who needed her more. Even when she was dying she knew it.  She actually apologised to me for always having put other people before me.

I told her not to be daft.  After all, she saved my life.  That’s not hyperbole.  I’d be long gone by now if it hadn’t been for Linda.  I had no life before her and there’s no life after her.  I just wish I could have given her the life she deserved.

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St Columba’s Hospice Tribute Fund for Linda Hamilton

http://linda.hamilton.muchloved.com/

Friends Life

Motto – “everything we do is full of Good Thinking for you”
My reply to a recent letter from their Claims Management Team is below.
I refer to your letter of 1st September to my dead wife, Linda Hamilton.
You wrote to advise her of a BACS payment to her account reflecting the fact that she had died and was not eligible for a full months payment.
You knew that she had died as I informed you of this fact yet you have still written to her in the present tense and have made a payment to her bank account which has been closed, due to the fact that she is dead.
This payment will have been returned to you and may I suggest that you tidy up your admin processes for dealing with a death as I don’t want to receive any more letters to my dead wife from people I’ve informed about her death.
Stuart Hamilton
Widower of Linda Hamilton
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Battle of Britain Day

It was Battle of Britain Day yesterday but I was too busy being maudlin and depressed to mention it.  But that would be to do my Dad a disfavour.

Alexander Walker Hamilton

Born 23 AUG 1922 • Breich, West Lothian, Scotland
Died 24 DEC 1980 • City Hospital, Edinburgh, Scotland

He was actually too young to have been in the Battle of Britain but he was called up to the Royal Air Force shortly after and spent six years fighting Hitler so you lot could swan about drinking artisan coffee and moaning about how hard your lives are.

Here he is in his Royal Air Force finery.

Thanks Dad.  Linda would have liked you.

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I Live For The Weekend

Well, I used to live for the weekend.  After the NHS crippled Linda 7 years back I started working one day a week from home.  As time passed by she became more infirm and I reduced my hours.  So I stopped working on a Monday.

Which meant when I came home from work on a Friday I had three uninterrupted Linda days.  They were my favourite.   So when the chance came up to take my redundancy and start working at home, for myself, I leapt at the chance.

See, Linda’s “good” days didn’t always coincide with me being at home.  Sometimes she was in too much pain to go out at the weekends.  But being able to juggle my work to fit in with her was going to be a delight.  A month after I signed the papers we found out she had cancer.  So there was no more delight.

Her whole life she said there was always a fly in the ointment.  Something always spoilt even the chance of there being full on joy in her life.  And she was such a good Lindy.  She deserved so much better.  Hopefully, I’ll see her soon.  Maybe next time.

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St Columba’s Hospice Tribute Fund for Linda Hamilton

http://linda.hamilton.muchloved.com/